Processing Trauma: What It Actually Means and Common Misconceptions
We’ve all had upsetting experiences that affect our mind and body. The feelings may stay with us for a long time.
It’s not always the scope of – but importantly, it’s in how we heal from – these bad experiences. This shapes how hurt or trauma endures across our lives.
Understanding what trauma is and how to heal from it can be confusing.
When we talk about processing trauma, we mean finding ways to deal with hard experiences so they don't control our lives anymore.
This blog is about smaller hurts, or "little t" trauma — the everyday experiences that might not rise to the level of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but still make us feel bad and linger for weeks, months, even years.
We'll explain what trauma is, how to know if you're feeling its effects, combat some wrong ideas about trauma, and finally, we’ll offer a few helpful ways to heal.
What Is Trauma?
First things first, what is trauma? Trauma is an emotional and psychological response to distressing events that overwhelm our capacity to cope in the moment.
Different kinds of trauma include:
One-time trauma (acute trauma): Happens from a single event (like an accident or sudden loss)
Ongoing trauma (chronic trauma): Repeated exposure to distressing situations (like ongoing abuse, neglect, or bullying)
Big trauma (complex trauma): Multiple, prolonged traumatic events, often caused by other people. Complex trauma also includes childhood trauma — events during formative years that have lasting impacts into adulthood, even when memories remain unclear or incomplete.
"Little t" trauma: Everyday adverse experiences that don't meet clinical thresholds but can still affect your wellbeing
How Do You Know You Are Traumatized?
It's not always easy to tell if you're dealing with emotional trauma. Many people experience delayed trauma responses. Symptoms may emerge months or even years after the triggering event. This delay often leads people to disconnect current struggles from past experiences, making it difficult to identify trauma as the underlying cause.
Here are some signs to look for:
Emotional signs: Persistent anxiety, unexplained fear, emotional numbness, irritability, or mood swings
Physical responses: Sleep disturbances, being easily startled, chronic tension, digestive issues
Behavioral changes: Avoiding people or places associated with the trauma, withdrawal from activities, relationship difficulties
So, how does processing trauma work?
First, let’s tackle some common misconceptions.
Fact or Fiction: Common Misconceptions About Trauma
There are lots of misconceptions about trauma, who it impacts, and how it manifests because of a lack of understanding about its complexity and impact. Let’s address a few of those myths:
❌Trauma only comes from really terrible events.
✅"Little t" traumas like emotional neglect or ongoing criticism can profoundly impact mental health. Even smaller hurts like being ignored or criticized a lot can deeply affect how we feel.
❌If you can't remember something clearly, it didn't affect you.
✅Traumatic memories are stored differently in our brain and can still affect us even if we don't remember them well.
❌Having trauma means you're weak.
✅Trauma reactions are normal body and brain responses, not a sign of weakness.
❌Time heals all hurts.
✅Without help, feelings or patterns arising out of trauma often stay the same or get worse.
❌Therapy is only needed for serious PTSD.
✅Getting help is good for anyone dealing with bad experiences.
Can You Treat Trauma by Yourself?
There are things you can do on your own to feel better, but it’s important to recognize when a new perspective — and someone with professional experience — is needed.
Our brain's response to trauma often disrupts our threat-detection systems and capacity for self-regulation — the very tools we'd need for completely self-guided healing.
Talking to a counselor gives you outside help to retrain these brain patterns.
A counselor offers a safe place and special tools to help you work through painful feelings.
Even so, here are helpful things you can do on your own that work well along with seeing a counselor:
Grounding Exercises
Practice deep belly breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8)
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method (identify 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste)
Try tactile stress relief to anchor you in the present moment
Mindfulness Practices
Start with brief, guided meditations focused on present-moment awareness
Body scan exercises to release tension and reconnect with physical sensations
Expressive Approaches
Journal about your feelings without judgment
Create art that represents your emotional experience
Physical Regulation:
Gentle yoga or stretching to release stored tension
Daily walks in nature to reduce activation of stress responses
Social Connection:
Share with trusted friends or family members
Consider joining a support group with others who have similar experiences
What’s next?
Processing trauma is hard work, but healing is possible.
With the right help and methods, you can learn to cope with your past experiences in ways that allow for growth, rather than letting them control your life.
Two of the most common types of therapy for processing traumatic events are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
With CBT, a licensed counselor helps you identify and change negative thought patterns related to traumatic experiences
With DBT, we focus on teaching you skills for emotional regulation and ultimately help you build resilience and tolerance for distressing circumstances.
Online Therapy to Process Trauma
If you're having trouble because of childhood trauma or other hard experiences, asking for help shows strength — not weakness.
At Building Resilience Counseling Services, we help people work through past hurts and build happier, healthier lives.
Contact us today to start your healing journey! We accept many forms of insurance and offer free consultations. Our sessions take place 100% in a virtual setting – making therapy comfortable, convenient, and easy to fit into your schedule.
Interested in learning more? Sign up for a free 15-minute consultation here.